I could only imagine how the real devotees of His Divine Grace must have been feeling.
Srila Raghunnath Das Goswami when considering the disappearance of Srila Rupa Goswami found that his beloved Vrindavan was now completely empty, Govardhan had become a great python and Radha Kund the wide open mouth of a tiger. He felt his own self to be nothing but a walking corpse. Such feelings of separation are almost inconceivable to me and to even voice my own self-indulgent grief seems lamentably offensive in comparison. Never the less even a most fallen sinner as I am, I felt bereft and alone. The main difference of course is that the devotees are full of devotion whereas I have none at all.
At the same time we are reminded of the famous words of Thakur Bhaktivinode:
He reasons ill who tells that Vaishnavas die when thou art living still in sound! The Vaishnavas die to live and living try to spread the holy name around!"
Here we find the clue to our continued association with our Divine Master. Srila Govinda Maharaj lives with us eternally through his teachings and those who follow those teachings with implicit faith and certitude they live with Srila Govinda Maharaj in the absolute plane of transcendent reality forever.
So now we will have to re-evaluate our own position and look deeply within ourselves to consider what we really want in life. Emotion is not devotion. This truth we have learnt from Srila Govinda Maharaj. We will have to leave our emotional and sentimental regard for His Divine Grace and embrace his teachings and his service without any reserve if we really want his connection. A superficial connection won't do. We are to surrender and serve. This is his teaching. We are to sacrifice ourselves for the service of his Deity, his mission and his devotees. This is what is required. Service, service, service! Somehow or another we must have service. And service is also not hap-hazard or arbitrary but service is given and has value according to its necessity.
Narad Rishi has given this advice to Yudhistir Maharaj in Srimad Bhagavat:
etat sarvam gurau bhaktya
puruso hy anjasa jayet
"We can conquer over all of our defects only by rendering exclusive devotional service to the spiritual master." (SB 7.15.25)
We may be the most lowly and the most unqualified but if we can get real service to our spiritual master then our life will be successful and we will find he is fully present in everything we say and everything we do.
The proof of our connection with Srila Govinda Maharaj will be how much we can sacrifice ourselves for his service. To profess our devotion to Sri Gurudev while remaining fixed in our mundane position will be nothing more than self deception as will avoiding the call to his service. A radical adjustment will be needed if we are to truly be his. If we sincerely believe that what he has given to us is of real importance and real value then nothing else should be of greater imperative than to surrender to this and to share his teachings with others.
Humility, tolerance and giving honour to others is central to Srila Govinda Maharaj's gift of Krishna Consciousness and we must temper everything we do with the practice of these principles along with earnest desire and prayer that he will make us worthy to be the servitors of the truth which he has bequeathed to us.
Srila Govinda Maharaj may no longer be present in the physical sense in which we knew him until now but this is not the end but rather the beginning of a deep and inner relationship with him in the eternal plane of reality if we will only allow ourselves this opportunity. I believe this is the meaning of his passing for the real disciple.
As far away from that as I am, I have faith that this is what he wants from us all and if we are sincere and dedicate ourselves to this end then either today or tomorrow by his merciful grace we will get it.
